I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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