Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
