Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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