I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
