I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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