Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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