yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
