I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
