Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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