Pappa wants mamma naked
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
