Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
