thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
