3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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