i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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