Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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