i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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