Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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