Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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