Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
