just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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