why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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