hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
