I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I love black thongs
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
