I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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