He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
how does that bad decision feel?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
