Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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