i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
