He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
