Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
