Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize