I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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