Sponge bath it is.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
