it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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