I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She bit a glass in half.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
