Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
