I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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