I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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