I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
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She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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