There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
