we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
