??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
