did you get engaged???
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
