Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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