My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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