Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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