Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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