i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
