how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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