i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize