I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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