he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
