Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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