going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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