If i come over, it means nothing
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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