yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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