Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
