My brain says no but my pants say off.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
