i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
