Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
