i barfeds in our rink
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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