how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
