It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
