when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
