We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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