a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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