She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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